Background tales for 'Morbid entropic spaces' vol. 1/2

Thought it's time to write about certain events that led to the birth of 'Morbid entropic spaces' album and how the album shaped into what it is, musically and lyrically speaking. This will be a writing with two volumes and this 1st volume tells about one song only. Long writing for just one song, I know, but there are reasons for this.

In late Autumn 2025 I had no inspiration nor idea/vibes to start making new Mood:Doom aka M4D album. I did have one melody/riff idea from May 2025 saved, but that was all. I had pretty much forgotten that May 2025 melody/riff idea, too - simply because I didn't have the vibes for starting to craft new material for M4D. That all changed overnight in turn of November / December 2025. We (me, bro, our mother) got to know that mom's doc estimated that she has about 3 months life left. She had bone cancer which had finally started taking over after being dormant for few years. We knew the end would come in coming years since she was already 90 years old. Superwoman, who only during his last months went physically into poor condition (I mean, she was doing some physical work at countryside still at 90 years old, because she herself wanted to!) ... but the fact was, in early December 2025 that "she would most likely not live to see the Summer of 2026" ... and she didn't.

But in early December 2025 as the news of her death approaching came, there was sadness and sorrow. Naturally. Because there was nothing anyone could do about it, anymore, but to accept that the end is coming. She had lived a long and happy life full of love and events, but you know, death is death. Those who are left behind, mourn. So it goes. But in early December with the news of this situation came, I was talking about the matter in phone with mom (we lived far away from each other, at the other ends of the country). Very directly and openly, both of us. Both talking about it, at times in tears, naturally - but talking openly about it all. About life and death, about things. The first time we talked about the matter in phone, after the call ended ... I didn't plan anything at all, so I was in a very emotional mood and I just picked up one of my guitars (the most reliable one, Gibson SG) and started playing it while thinking about mom's forthcoming death. Right away I came up with two melodies, and I instantly knew that ... they will form a song which will be about my mother's death. Very doomy melodies, so instantly I knew also that this is M4D material. Not just that but the instant I came up with the melodies, I knew that the song title will be Mother Earth's death. And that's what it became as you can easily see by checking out "morbid entropic spaces" album. I also knew that it will be opening track of ... album? It struck me at the same time, that I think this means a musical flow has begun. The song base came out so easily.

Okay, the thing then progressed so that just some days or perhaps a week later after that phone call and beginning of "mother earth's death" tune - I was talking with mom in phone again, about the same matters, life and death. I revealed to her that I'm composing a song about her death, it will be sad, long song, doom metal style. She was touched by what I told but she then went to state, that it's not just sad thing, for me it is not sad to die, I have lived a long happy life, I am ready to leave all this behind too, of course I know it's going to be sad for you and your brother, but please, could you also compose "happy" music for me, not just sad because it's not all sad? I was like ... hmmmm I can try of course, but I can't promise anything, as when and what I compose is ... what comes to me, comes to me, I don't plan what I compose, that's how it has always been. Can you guess what happened next?

Well, again after that phone call I certainly didn't plan anything and I couldn't be further from "composing happy music" mentally - but as it happens, without thinking I picked up guitar again and right away fast riff comes to me. Bling! This is my version of "happy" for her, and I instantly knew that this "happy section" will be short middle section in "mother earth's death" tune ... and yeah, as anyone can see by checking it out, there it is.

I only started recording M4D music in February, even that I had all of "mother earth's death" ready in my mind in December already. I'd say that Christmas and then January were kind of time for letting the creative vibes stew mentally but then as I went and started recording (first demos, soon final recordings) in February, things started happening fast. As it happens, the first song I recorded for the album, was of course "mother earth's death". As this first blog post deals with this song, which I call "the main title song", I won't tell about the other tunes for now. Instead we'll go deeper into the process of "mother earth's death".

So, from the very beginning of how "mother earth's death" came to be, it was very personal and emotional song. Probably the most personal song I've ever done. Sure, I've recorded "musical obituaries" before (for people and even pets) but this was on all different level. Recording the actual music for the song went like a breeze, and actually only this song and "fractured cosmic web" were songs I first recorded as demos. After these two I recorded final takes straight away as the rest songs happened. 

When it comes to "mother earth's death" I knew it will be a song about my mother's death, but lyrically it will be told mostly from cosmic point of view. I also liked how (from cosmic viewpoint) it connects with 2021's album "down to earth" and certain tunes like (as it happens) the opening track "heaving earth". Just that this was going to be so much more personal level song. So, "mother earth's death" was the first song I recorded guitars over quickly programmed drums (which I later finetuned a lot before they turned into final ones). While the recording was quickly done, the same happened with lyrics, kind of. 

I wrote the lyrics at this point very fast but only for all the slow parts. Mother was still alive during all this in the other end of the country. Then all the other songs happened (about which I will write in next post) and fast forward to April ... during Easter mom was more than fine, there was clearly that time when a person who is about to die, experiences brief time when he/she seems to be in excellent condition - even that he/she is not in reality. Sort of "enlightened" moment, if you could call it that. Day or two later mom's condition collapsed and she was taken to hospital. I knew the end is near ... and I was very emotional. I suddenly felt that now is the time, to write the lyrics for "mother earth's death" song's middle section, the happy fast section, ... yeah ... and the lyrics I wrote, I wrote them as I cried like a river. These lyrics which were born through tears, combine real things with cosmic viewpoint and even now that I read them myself, I am still getting emotional. There is also the irony of these far from happy lyrics were written for "happy" section and it gives quite a contrast to it if you ask me. The lyrics from that section:

Starlight fills her final grave

Mother earth has been saved

Her last wishes were so grand

Feel no sorrow just let me go

Starlight fills her former grave

My mother earth has escaped

Her last wishes can be heard

Just let me fly away like a bird

Starlight is her true second name now

One can do nothing else than just bow

She gave me orders of happiness

Doomed mother earth means loneliness

I'm trying to be strong 

Stop me, it hurts so bad, mother ...

So ... at the same time as I wrote the lyrics, I knew that I will not record the vocals for "mother earth's death" yet, but that I will record the vocals only after she no longer walks the earth. At the same time I had vocals recorded for all the other songs. So, the song which started it all, gave birth to this album, was at the same time the very last song I recorded vocals for. 

Just some days later mom passed away in her sleep during the night. And I went and recorded all the vocals for "her song" just some 12-13 hours later. Talk about emotional vocal recording ... At times I was recording the vocals while on the edge of sobbing, almost crying. And there was of course the middle section ("fast, happy moment" mother hoped me to compose) where I knew I'd let the crying out loud kind of ... I decided to record the vocals many times, like 4-5 times, for a sort of twisted choir with different kind of voices out of which one was really high pitched, pained screaming. The pain in the screaming was and is very real.

I can state that this song - Mother Earth's death - is truly a song where I've poured my emotions - literally speaking. Be it the music or be it the lyrics - and even the "performance" (vocals, especially in that fast middle section) ... this song was literally like music therapy for me. And I can also say, that I'm proud that I created this massive musical obituary for my mother. Now not just memories but also this song remains. Oh and also, with all this background trivia you might look at the album's front cover with bit different kind of thoughts. Yes, it's pretty much visual description (from cosmic point of view and doom metal mood mixed in) of this main title song, Mother Earth's death.

mother and me in mid1970s

Next post will be about the other tunes on the album and if you thought this "main title song" was all there was to tell emotionally speaking, ... well you thought wrong.